Saturday, January 8, 2011

So funny I was crying!

I found this on facebook a few days ago! It is absolutely hilarious. I laughed so hard I cried.

It says it was written by an Amy Lawrence - I think, that or she is the one who posted it.

Here it is:

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids


Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.


So does it ring true to those that have kids???? I totally think it does!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

AZ trip part 3

We spent Christmas Eve making cookies for ourselves and Santa and drinking hot chocolate with a candy cane in it (so yummy!) The kids played and then we had a story by my mom and the kids got to open one traditional Christmas present from her - new PJ's. My brothers kids did a cute little Christmas song about Santa having a cold too - it was so funny and they did a great job!

Boys in their new PJ's
Christmas morning

We had a wonderful Christmas this year. It was nice to actually get to spend Christmas day with my family. We didn't have to fly home on Christmas Eve this year so I could work. I didn't have to worry about being home and being called into work either. It was very relaxing and fun just being with Jared, the kids and my family. The rest of my siblings and their families joined us later in the day and we had a great Christmas dinner together.

Miscellaneous pictures from our trip:
Liam in a tow truck at Peter Piper Pizza - could hardly get him out of that thing - he loved it!
Changing the oil with Grandpa Robert

Eli loves to spend time with his Grandpa's. He spent all day yesterday outside in the cold with Jared's dad 'helping' cut down trees and split wood.

Christmas in NC - the day we got home from AZ we exchanged Christmas presents with Jared's parents. The kids got Hogwarts Castle in Legos - they were so excited!!!!
and Liam got a slide - which he loves!!!!

That's all for our trip to AZ!!!! We had such a wonderful time and enjoyed the warmer weather.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

AZ trip continued...

While we were in AZ, Aidan and I had the opportunity to go to Las Vegas for the Maaco Bowl game. My brother Greg's team - Utah Utes - were playing in it. Aidan left the day before the game with my parents and my brother Steve's family. Aidan had a great time with his cousin Karsen, who has 3 sisters....so they had some good just boys time!!!

Eating breakfast at the condo

I drove over the day of the game with my brother Adam. The weather cleared up and surprisingly we didn't get rained on. The beginning of the game was a little rough for Aidan. Aidan is not a big fan of fireworks or any loud noises. I haven't been to very many football games and so I had not prepared Aidan very well, but only because I didn't have a clue. Right after the national anthem was finished, 2 fighter jets - F-15 & F-22 flew over the stadium, after burners on....it was awesome AND very very loud. Aidan burst into tears. I had tried to cover his ears in time but it was just soooo loud. While I was trying to calm him down I had no idea (again!) that they were going to set off a bunch of fireworks. They were very loud and close too. Aidan cried harder. It took me the entire first quarter to convince him that the football game was fun and that I wasn't taking him back to the condo. So after mush convincing and some nachos...here is a happy Aidan and me at the football game.
My grandparents - prepared for the rain - but it never came, bye bye ponchos!

We lost the game, it was very disappointing, but my brother had an awesome hit that left one of the Boise State players dazed for quite awhile. You can see his hit here. Greg is #35.

Every time we make the trip to Arizona I try to visit my college roommate Adrienne and her family. This year we got together at Paradise Bakery for lunch. She has 2 beautiful little girls. We had a great time catching up.
My sister Andrea and her kids were over one night and we decided to go and buy one of the gingerbread house kits for the kids to make and decorate. They are harder than they look! The kids had fun, but the frosting doesn't hold it together all that well.
Finished!

The kids also had fun dressing up. My boys only have super hero costumes to dress up in at home...but at Grandma Laurie's there are skirts and baby dolls!!!!
They loved them and well I just let them have fun. Liam loves to carry baby dolls and Santa must have known that because he got him a big sock monkey to carry instead of a doll. He loves his sock monkey!

To be continued...



Saturday, January 1, 2011

Our trip to Arizona...

We drove to Charlotte the night of the 15th and stayed in a hotel. Our flight was leaving at 6:30am the next morning. Here is a picture of how I found the boys sleeping the next morning. It took them forever to go to sleep because they just don't know how to keep their hands to themselves!

Charlotte airport

Layover in Memphis

The Saturday after we got to Arizona was a very special day. First we had breakfast with Santa. Liam was not a big fan of Santa, despite the candy cane and the stuffed animal.

Then later in the afternoon was Aidan's baptism. He turned 8 in November and we decided to have him baptized in Arizona so that my family could be apart of it since we don't live close. Jared's parents made the trip to Arizona for the special occasion.

Before his baptism with Jared
Before with the family
After his baptism

We are very proud of Aidan and his decision to be baptized! It was a very special day and we were very lucky to spend it with our families.

More to come on our vacation later.....